Tournament Officials Riles Occupy Movement

Welcomes the ‘One-Percenters of Basketball’

occupy(Cabo San Lucas) – Members of Occupy Cabo San Lucas reacted swiftly to comments from Henderson NCAA Tournament President and 2009 Tournament Official Hall of Fame inductee Matt Henderson during the Henderson NCAA Tournament’s annual winter meeting and silent auction.

Although closed to the press, dinner attendees confirmed that in prepared remarks, Henderson condemned the Occupy movement as “providing the negative face of couch-dwellers everywhere.” He railed against what he termed the excesses of the Occupy movement, with their tarps, tents and other modern amenities. “Even George Costanza was able to get a job.”

“We’re not going anywhere, Mr. Henderson. At least not in this weather,” said an Occupier identified only as “Ed”, 26 and unemployed.

 “Get off our sidewalks. Get back in your basements,” Henderson said, unfazed.

In other news, the Henderson NCAA Tournament Executive Committee took the following actions:

  • Agreed to terms with Martha Stewart to design a line of cotton blend blazers for Tournament officials. “Well, it is a natural fiber,” said Senior Executive Vice President for Advertising and Marketing Anthony Lisi.
  • Severed tournament promotional ties with North Korean dictator Kim Jon-un. “We were not pleased with the turn against human rights under Jon-un since the passing of his father, Mr. Kim Jong-il. Coupled with higher than anticipated royalty sharing rights sought by Mr. Jon-un, we concluded this relationship was untenable,” said Tournament President Matt Henderson.
  • Adopted a resolution expressing a “Sense of the Board” that Lifetime Television Networkis detrimental, deleterious and generally harmful.

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