The Next Bachelor

Pasadena (Reuters) – Multiple sources are confirming that the next Bachelor on the long-running ABC reality series will be Forest Hill’s own H. Scott Johnson, who shot to fame as a participant in the Henderson NCAA tournament.

“It’s not surprising,” said a source close to Johnson who asked to remain anonymous.  “So he almost won the Tournament. What’s he done, really, in the last five years? This helps keep him relevant.”

Show officials concurred.  “After our latest debacle, the producers felt we needed someone with experience with the ladies,” said Bachelor host and Flo-Max spokesman Chris Harrison. “This promises to be an amazing season”.

Johnson made his name early in the Henderson NCAA tournament, finishing second in consecutive seasons. His famed “Johnson Index” for selecting teams has earned him guest appearances on multiple programs, including SportsCenter and The View. But sources say guest slots have become more infrequent in recent years.

Support came from unlikely sources, with wife Trudy remarking that she was supportive of “anything that gets him out of the house”.

So what will it take to earn a rose this time around? A love of basketball and beer can’t hurt. “You want to open my heart? Start with the refrigerator door,” said Johnson.