Henderson NCAA Tournament Officials Take Action at 2023 Annual Meeting

 Celebrates 20 Years of Incompetence and Corruption

 (Paradise Valley, Montana) – Amid record snowfall and freezing temperatures, senior Henderson NCAA Tournament Officials gathered in February for the annual meeting of its Board of Directors and Silent Auction.  As always, proceeds from the silent auction benefited the Hawaii Tsunami Relief Fund.

Among actions taken by the Board:

• Voted to limit Tournament Entry Fee increases to only three times the rate of inflation. “Our seniors…our young people…they are hurting. We must ensure our fees remain a competitive option for their grocery and utility dollars,” the Board said in a statement.

• Appointed Ron Burgundy as the new Senior Director for Human Resources, Compliance and Midwestern Region Promotion.

• Authorized senior Henderson NCAA Tournament executives to fly to Kiev, Ukraine for a photo op with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. “He’s got four Ys. Most people don’t realize that,” said an unnamed senior executive who serves as President of the Tournament.

• Conveyed Emeritus status upon Wilford Brimley, Betty White and Angela Lansbury while relegating Queen Elizabeth the Deuce to “Honored Colleague” status. “She led two wars against our people. That’s difficult to separate from her legacy,” said Vice President for ESG, EJ and DEI Patrick Henderson.

• Severed ties with Norfolk Southern as the official “Crisis Communication” specialist for the Tournament. “Frankly, we’ve never heard of them. They’ve never advanced out of the regional quarterfinals anyway,” the Board said.