Henderson NCAA Tournament Emerges from Bankruptcy

Re-instates controversial executive bonus program

(Philadelphia) – Henderson NCAA Tournament Officials appeared exhausted but relieved as they exited the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania earlier today after successfully emerging from Chapter 7 bankruptcy proceedings. Documents released by the Court indicated that Tournament Officials settled their reported $12.9 million in outstanding debt for approximately $32,000.

“Speak to the hand,” said Tournament President Matt Henderson to the reporters assembled outside the courthouse on a chilly February afternoon.

Today’s events culminated what has been a tumultuous year for the Henderson NCAA Tournament. In December Tournament Officials were denied in their odd bid to host the 2011 Winter Olympics. Efforts to secure naming rights for the Tournament fell through when Toyota automaker executives expressed concern with the “quality and integrity” of the Tournament’s product. And last September, Tournament officials were forced to apologize for comments made by Harrisburg Regional Administrator Pat Henderson when he suggested that “steroid use has gotten a bad name…just look at what it’s done for the UCONN ladies program”.

Additionally, Tournament Officials turned down an endorsement request sought by race-car maven Danica Patrick, despite the Tournament’s need for cash.  “She appears to have an awkward relationship with her father,” said Director of Marketing and Communications M. Sim Basta III.  “We were not comfortable that this endorsement would meet the strong family values our Tournament strives to achieve.”

Tournament Officials and over 90 participants traveled again to San Diego for the Annual Banquet and Silent Auction.  Noted philanthropist and author Cosmo Kramer addressed the attendees with his award-winning lecture entitled “Your Mother was Wrong – There are Losers in Life”