Hendersons Out; Kramer In

(Montpelier, VT) – Nothing is forever, it seems.

In a stunning turn of events, longtime founding executives of the Henderson NCAA Tournament were ousted from their positions today – a swift conclusion to a long, tumultuous and oftentimes contentious tenure that many outside experts said was simply untenable.

In their place? New President and Chief Executive Officer, Cosmo Kramer.

Caught up in the changes were:

• Tournament President Matt Henderson.

• Tournament Vice President for Basketball Pat Henderson.
• Tournament Executive Vice President for Executive Compensation Matt Henderson.
• Tournament Senior Assistant Vice President for Efficiency in Governance Pat Henderson.
• Additional unnamed family members on the payroll who may or may not actually exist.

Kramer assumes office with no experience in college basketball or any discernable work experience at all.  In this regard, he has comparable qualifications of prior senior executives at the Tournament.

Kramer wasted no time in making his mark, including:

• Naming Bob Sacamano as Executive Assistant to the President.
• Upon further review, firing Dean Blandino as the official replay analyst of the Tournament.
• Reinstating Bounty as the official paper towel of tournament participants.
• Reinstating Newman’s courtside seats, revoked after a shoving incident involving Christian Laettner over 30 years ago.

As of press time, it was unclear who had installed Kramer in his new position or why.