White House Meeting Erupts in Chaos

(Washington, DC) – Senior Henderson NCAA Tournament Officials’ efforts to mend fences with the Trump Administration ended spectacularly, with Tournament President Matt Henderson being kicked out of the Oval Office after a fiery exchange with President Trump.

“You’ve ripped off your participants long enough,” Trump said in response to a series of reform proposals outlined by Henderson.

“Your tournament sucks. You write your little stories. You have Rosie O’Donut as a spokesperson,” Trump claimed.

“WE DO NOT HAVE ROSIE O’DONNELL AS A SPOKESPERSON,” Henderson countered, his voice raised, as Trump bellowed over him. “Lies, lies, lies.”

The meeting spiraled out of control from there. In the span of two minutes:

• Henderson revoked the Tournament’s Betty White Leadership Award bestowed on Trump during the 2022 Tournament.

• Trump imposed 25% tariffs on the Universityof California, UCLA, USC, and “any other foreign national basketball team participating in the tournament.”

• Henderson formally rejected the White House proposal to rename the Western Region the Trump Region.

• Trump announced he was doubling tariffs against the aforementioned foreign national basketball teams “to include New Mexico and New Mexico State.”

Asked to respond to Trump’s claim that he has revoked the Tournament’s charter, Vice President of Basketball Patrick Henderson stated, “we don’t even know what that means.”

Henderson previously held the position of Vice President for Environmental, Social, Governance, Environmental Justice, Diversity, Equity and Inclusion.