Tournament Officials Reject Calls to Sever Ties with Natty Ice

Vanilla Ice Signed to Perform at 2029 Annual Meeting

(Casper, WY) – Henderson Tournament Officials reacted angrily to protesters who sought to disrupt the Tournament’s recent annual meeting and silent auction and demanded that the Tournament – long recognized as the leading collegiate basketball tournament in the nation – sever any and all promotional ties with Natty Ice.

“We stand by the brave men and women who bottle and slightly under-carbonate Natty Ice,” said a senior Tournament official identified only as “Pat” and granted anonymity to speak on the matter. “We will not bow at the altar of political correctness,” said Henderson, who previously served as Senior Vice President for Marketing, Promotion, Benefit Administration, Climate and Environmental Justice, Diversity, Equity and Inclusion and Pronoun Management. “Now…or ever.”

In other news, Henderson Tournament Officials announced a new partnership with Budweiser to serve as the official iced beverage of the Tournament, dubbing it the “King of Beers” while also seeking a trademark for the new phrase. The Tournament denied it had terminated its contract with Natty Ice to make room for Budweiser, saying they were “unfamiliar with this alleged brand” and deeming the rumors to be Fake News.